I’ve heard a lot of people say that love is tough to maintain and that it’s a tough emotion to deal with. At one point, I may have been sailing in the same boat.
There are so many ways to go about it. You could experiment and find your way of understanding it, you could choose a person to figure it out with or you could follow what someone else has tried and see if it works for you. No matter what you choose, you have to try. I believe all of us try all of it at some point in our lives.
I’ll tell you this: we have to be brave and open as we go into it. I wish someone would have told me this; I wouldn’t have been scared all the time.
By the time I found my person, I had almost run myself into the ground being too afraid to maintain any kind of relationship. Be it family or friends, I was uncomfortable with people getting to know me. All of this led me to believe that love was just a fancy fleeting feeling that people apparently experienced, the same way they would have enjoyed the never-before-eaten Greek food at a 5-star restaurant; something we relish not knowing whether it’s actually Greek or just the regular fare plated to look like an art exhibit. We ooh and aah just because everyone else is.
Love to me now is so flexible. It works based on your design. It depends on who you share it with, even that is yourself, what they add to it, how much time you invest in it and whether or not you are true it. It is dynamic and it cannot stay the same. The simple reason is that it involves people and people change.
The worst kind of love is when you hold a person’s traits against them and deny them space to change, evolve and grow. You squeeze them back into a box out of love, afraid that they’ll stop being the person you fell in love with. What if you grew, too? What if you forget to grow because you’re so in love with your 18-year-old self?
I’ve made my mistakes and I am glad I went through that. If I now know what love means to me, I know by virtue of my mistakes. I now choose to love with care, with thought and with purpose, be it myself or my person, and it’s the best choice I’ve made in a long time.
Reader. Learner. Dreamer.
I am all about the little things in life!