Fluctuating Habits

Maintaining a blog is much like a ritual: ideas are generated, they’re turned into content and then it’s rinse and repeat. You have to keep that habitual fire stoked, until there comes a point when you think you hope for the embers to turn into flames without stoking them. It is possible, but the odds are definitely not in your favour there. It’s your blog, so it’s up to you to keep it alive.

I recently posted a video on IGTV speaking of intentions and actions in reference to maintaining a blog or any social media account. There are so many things we set out to do with the best of intentions – we either make it or fizzle out. Or we fluctuate.

Click here to view the video on my profile (mobile link): Lost & Found

I still love reading and it’s horrible to say still love. I woke up today and wondered if I have forgotten how to read because I can’t seem to get into the groove. I have been stuck with reading Life of Pi since December 2018. I have been carrying the book around, from bag to bag, just to grab as many reading minutes as I can. I have been re-reading the same pages, with no recollection of the narrative. It’s like being stuck in a Chemistry classroom within my mind.

I switched to two books to see if Life of Pi wasn’t capturing my interest, and off the top of my head, I can’t recall the names of the two books I picked up. I don’t know what it is. If you have any ideas, please do leave them in the comments below.

Back to the blog, I love it and I do love writing. I enjoy taking time out and rocking out to songs while I write. Okay, I rock out on the stage in my mind, but it’s awesome nonetheless. I know what I want to write about and I have lists of ideas tucked away here and there. When it comes to executing said ideas, it requires me to read before I can write anything, especially when it’s book-related. Or I write posts like this one, which could be an outcome of rumination or not reading, in this case.

My blog stats showed me what I am capable of when my habit is consistent, like the time I wrote (almost) everyday in March. It’s not easy being consistent and we forget that. Once an activity becomes a habit and we are on a good streak, we forget what we used to do without that habit once the streak fades. That’s where I am at right now. I used to take two days or a month to read a book and I had nowhere to talk about it. Now that I have a blog and an Instagram account, I feel like I am answerable to my own account. It’s my own account and I forgot that! I began perceiving it in the way you’re answerable to the firm that has hired you. I laughed at myself when I became aware of that thought. I haven’t hired myself and this isn’t my livelihood, though I would like for it be. I wanted a space to reach out to people who love doing what I love – reading books and writing – and my blog is that space.

I may be stuck with a book and that has lead to no book review, but I can still write and people still interact with older posts. What I have written before doesn’t become irrelevant when I write a new post. The time before I had this blog consisted of reading multiple books based on my mood and I would take my time. If I didn’t feel like reading that day, I would journal or try to paint or grab my skipping rope. The aim of building a solid habit of maintaining my blog, I left out other activities that I enjoy just as much. And now that the reading and blog habit fluctuated, I forget all the other things I used to do.

I can be accountable to myself, but I won’t be as hard on myself as I would to a second person accountable to me. Working for yourself and doing what you love sound magical, however they still demand consistency and unwavering habits. On a practical note, those habits can fluctuate, and it’s okay if they do. All you have to do is find something else to complement those highs and lows so you’re not stuck with one thing at a time. In that manner, you still have a headcount of your habits even if they aren’t all up and about at the same time.

I will continue reading Life of Pi till I finish it and I will do so because I have waited a long time to find the edition I now own. I didn’t watch the movie for I wanted to read the book first. I didn’t read the first copy I found at Landmark because it was the movie poster edition and the original cover was  hard to find in second-hand book stores. It took me over a year of scouring book stores to find a copy that I wanted and now I am stuck. At least I am stuck with something that makes me happy. For all that excitement, I owe it to the experience of finding that book to complete reading it. There are times when you will go to lengths to find something and that’s turns out to be more interesting than the thing itself, don’t you think?

Let your habits fluctuate. Let there be gaps that push you fill them up with something worth your while. To illustrate, in all the time I didn’t spend reading, I visited bookstores over and over to look for those editions that you’ll find when you aren’t looking for them and I now have 10 more books on my shelf that I know I will read, be it in two days or a month. However I read, that habit will fluctuate, but it’ll never die out.

Nandika's Notes : On Self and Surroundings

DreamingAtMyDesk View All →

Reader. Learner. Dreamer.
I am all about the little things in life!

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. The agony and ecstasy of sticking with what you love always, always requires work. Lots of work, energy and conscious effort. Be it relationships with people, yourself books or art. Like for us, writing. 🙂 I love the part about keeping the fire stoked!! Trust me, you want to feel that with time and more pieces it will get easier. But it never does, doesn’t it?

    Being stuck I guess has to be accepted as speed bumps. They are present and thats how the road is laid. The faster we go, the harder the speed bump will be felt on impact. And if you are cruising or slow to begin with, their presence is not as traumatic.

    Wonderfully written and appeals to each one who has thought of writing, is writing and has been writing. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: